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September 10, 2012

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Steve’s Talkabout… Unedited version.

  1. As many of you are aware, local pet shop owner Steve Edgington is also known for his interesting column on the back of the local magazine “The Talkabout” His writing is very small and normally edited for PC reasons. Hassocks Pet Centre are proud to present the Unedited Big Print Version:

More local news- By Steve.

When I arrived at work and found that huge demolition tractor in the middle of the road, my first thought was that Sainsbury’s had started making parking spaces for lorries, but got the wrong address of what building it was taking down and demolished Barclays instead!

No seriously, the old way of robbing banks with a pair of tights over your head and a banana in a paper bag have given way to more drastic methods, neither of which seems to have a very high success rate these days. Mind you, I would love to see the banks CCTV footage as that thing comes in the front door, but we must spare a thought for those poor people who had to evacuate their homes for quite a while because of the greed and ineptitude of these two idiots.

Don’t people get their knickers in a twist about parking!

This bloke kept parking his car where the charity shop volunteers normally park.  

Once it was there for weeks but I guess some people think they can park where they like, for as long as they like. One day I just happened to see him getting in his car with his little girl and just mentioned that “you know, you’re not meant to park round here.”

I must have touched a nerve because he went potty and as usual I’m the bad guy here.

Eventually, he starts backing out of the space but then all of a sudden he must have decided that he’d forgotten to mention something, so he drove full pelt at me! Now, there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity but I decided that although this could be painful, I wasn’t going to leap out of the way.

Good job this large foreign car had good brakes. He did stop but jumped out of the car and branded me a “weirdo” – Bit harsh I thought but then it occurred to me that I do have two pet foxes, an awful lot of cats, I rarely sleep, I raid bins to get food for foxes and spend half the night driving round putting this food down for them, I work seven days a week, never take a holiday and I love every minute of it.

Well, I suppose in some peoples’ eyes I am a bit strange.

He still parks where he shouldn’t and his words are “no weirdo tells me what to do”

When people swear at me I am always a little shit. I have met people smaller.

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